Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to Good luck, and happy hearing

Thursday, August 31, 2006


I dont know how many of you caught today's Daily Sun, or how many of you saw the new column by one Monika Derrien, but it was brought to my attention by a friend. The article is entitled 'Overheard: Eavesdroppers Welcome'. It reads like a bad update of this blog, with a cutesy little intro in which she tells us 'Look for more overheards every Thursday!' and then moves on to a couple of mediocre overheards. The article contains no reference to this blog and we were not contacted.
Sure, it's possible that she just came up with the idea on her own, but I find that fairly hard to believe. Especially given her email address is the ever so different (I can imagine a Vanilla Ice-esque explanation: 'No no no, my adress is overheard.cornell, theirs is overheardatcornell!) Yes, that's right, we've been flagrantly ripped off, and by the Sun no less! A letter to the editor is currently in the works. It's very possible that her editors (or the entire editorial staff) were unaware of this blog, and if she had contacted us we would have been more than pleased to cooperate (I mean, think about the exposure) but in fact she just stole the idea, plain and simple.
I doubt the editors of the Sun wanted this, or would support this once they were made aware of the situation. But I just wanted you all to know we here at overheard were not involved and not contacted with regards to this article.
We'll keep you updated as more develops.
-the ear

PS- I gave you her email address with a knowing wink.

Fat Wednesday

Looks like once again we're getting tons of overheards, so many that we can even be selective and just show you the really good ones. Keep it up kinder!

I imagine it said "jaw"

Freshman girl: Who's the ja?
Freshman boy: The hommie you get sent to if you're bad.

-risley, looking at a get out of J.A. free poster, heard by opakapa

No. No.

Guy: Oh, you're on the Sun - do you know the sex editor?
Girl: Yeah, she's like the sweetest girl ever!
Guy: Does she even have sex?

-eddy st., heard by anonybus

Cue the dueling banjos

Girl on cell : Wait, so what happened to our incest circle?

-outside ctb, heard by narcotics anonymous

Somebody's been to New York

Guy: This is just like the New York City subway!

-on the tcat, heard by mb

They totally stole this from the Man Show, but it's still kinda funny

Guy: We started a petition to end women's suffrage and like 20 girls signed it.
Friend: I think if you're dumb enough to sign something like that, you lose your right to vote anyway.

-okenshields, heard by anonymous

Ah, to be young again

Girl: I remember putting out

-thurston bridge, heard by the kgb

A true sushi aficionado would know

Gourmand: I always wonder whether imitation crab is a type of crab or like, actually fake crab. I think about it all the time.

-carol's cafe, heard by benji

Fight the system!

Comrade 1: I mean when you're that company trying to take down an american company...that's not an easy fight. You're fighting the core of american capitalism.
Comrade 2: Yeah man.
Comrade 1: Dude, you want to play some tekken?

-west, heard by benji

Great work all. Keep 'em coming.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Catching Up

Sorry for the long delay, the overheard offices have not had internet for a week, and a long anxious week it has been. We apologize sincerely for the break, and hope it has not caused anyone too much duress. But we're back online now (and hopefully for the rest of the year) with a big fat update. Enjoy!

Oh dear

Freshman texting: How do you spell Beer?

-outside CTB, heard by the ear

Yeah, that's it. It's definitely not you.

Girl: okay so with ________, our date went AWFUL, I took him home to 'show him my room' because he didnt kiss me in the car, and we get up there and he tells me he likes my shoes, umm..I think he's gay!

-plum tree, heard by areyoufreakingkiddingme

Atleast he's learned something

Freshman Guy: The girls here... Well that's it- its one week into school
and I am signing the resignation papers on my penis.

-north, heard by banks

Run, Florence, Run!

Freshman girl in heels: Look at me! I'm so good at heels! Look, i'm
running! She stumbles Damn it, oww...

Trust me, you didn't have to point it out

Girl: Oh, look, my boob is, like, falling out of my shirt.
Guy: Sweet.

-west, both heard by kimothy

You keep on saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Asian Girl: I hate that that's so Jappy here. I mean, at home it'd be like 'whatever you're in a wifebeater.' But here, it's like 'woah'.

-college ave., heard by the ear

Sophomore Awakening

Bro- Dude she is so hot
Dude- Dude, I know
Bro- But she's an upper classmen dude
Dude-We're upper classmen now, kind of
Bro- Yeah dude

-collegetown, heard by taranto

Alright all, that's it. Submit submit submit!!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Tuesday Two

This is...awkward...

Bro: Dude, can I get a ride home? I...uh...peed on my keys.

-Dryden Rd, heard by the ear

Maybe you need lessons?

Boy 1: ...if she remembers and she's not upset, then I'll get laid again.
Boy 2: What happened?
Boy 1: She barfed while I was going down on her.

-Target, heard by Erica

Alright kids, let's get those submissions coming!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Semester's First

Welcome back everyone. With classes not yet begun, now is the perfect time to hear stupid things said by an unassuming populace, and thus a good time to start submitting. We've got one today to kick us off, email us some better ones!


Nerdy Asian Boy 1: You're taking orgo? Oh my god, Orgo was the worst thing Ive ever done in my enitre life!
Nerdy Asian Boy 2: Really?
Nerdy Asian Boy 1: It wasn't that bad. Wasn't that bad.

-Ho Plaza, heard by the ear.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Summer Update 2

Yeah yeah, I know, it's the end of the summer and you're really sick of sequels. But I forgot to post a couple of the really great submissions we got this summer, so, without further ado:

Philosophy 101

Guy: Given the pain of my last breakup, I'm reluctant to get into a relationship again.
Girl: That's why some people avoid serious relationships altogether.
Guy: Yeah, but at some point I'll be too bald to keep having casual sex all my life.

-libe cafe, heard by a sympathetic senior

Even frat boys get frustrated by how stupid some Cornellians are

Party Girl: Excuse me, but what does "roosh ta-key" mean?
Fraternity Guy: Huh? What are you talking about?
Party Girl: Your T-Shirt.
Fraternity Guy: That's "Rush TKE," as in "consider joining the
fraternity you're at right now"

-TKE party, heard by Brendan

Monday, August 07, 2006

End of Summer Summary

As classes creep ever closer, and the specter of Ithaca looms larger, it's time to draw summer romances to an awkward close, scramble desperately for what tan can be gained, and resign yourself to another semester at one of the best institutions in the world, which still manages to maintain a thriving culture of alcoholism, ignorance and idiocy. Yes, Cornell is almost back in session, and so we here at Overheard are updating with what silly overhearings we've received over the summer. If you're new to the site (or the school, welcome freshies) this site is run by your submissions. It goes like this: you hear something stupid, you write it down or remember it, and you send it to our email address: Include anonymous nomenclature by which we refer to you, where you heard it, and, if you feel it needs it, provide some context. Alright kids, lets gear up for a long semester ahead of us! Be strong, we'll be hear for you.
-The Ear

I mean, we pay 30K a year, it's the least they can do!

Chick: These stairs are so steep!
Meathead: Yeah, it would be much easier if there was an elevator or

-Climbing out of A GORGE, heard by Gremlin

Ivy League, folks

Jock: We're seniors now... let's fail our classes

-Helen Newman, heard by Steve_Heil!

Intelligence is for idiots

Girl: How is he so fucking smart?
Gay boy: All that energy that goes towards daily life, you know, washing clothes, cooking, socializing, goes into academics. That's why most professors own velcro shoes.

-Dryden Road

Welcome to Cornell, where even your tour guides are brilliant

Tour guide: (in complete earnest) So you may be asking yourself, how many books does Cornell actually have? 500? 600? No....7 million.

-Arts Quad, both heard by Sangria

Cell phones!

Girl yelling into cell: So how's the stripper roommate?

-Gannett, heard by CDC

Its been a short summer, but all of us here at Overheard have had good ones, and we hope you did too. When you get back to Ithaca, dont forget to submit!