Im back Bitches!

Sorry Gents and ladies, just finally gots the intraweb in my homespace and now I can update. Here we go!

Introspection, Cornell style

Girl: So I've recently reached the conclusion that I fart way too much.

-rpcc, heard by grossed out


Let it Be, Cornell style

Engineering Girl: It was weird seeing [frat boys] sober. It reminded me that they're real people too.

-engineering quad, heard by baw


Judith Butler is writing an angry letter as we speak

Prof: So the U. S. has its fingers in every dike.

-international relations class, heard by ross


Otherwise Im just not sleeping at DU again

Girl on cell: Pleeeease change your sheets. It's been like three months. I'm begging - I'm actually begging you to change the sheets. Please.

-martha's, heard by bcw


Clearly, she doesn't realize waving could distract him right into the street...

Girl: Oh look, there's that guy I know
Guy: Then why aren't you waving to him?
Girl: Because I want him to DIE!!

-arts quad, head by blane


Like...naked cuddle close

Questioning Boy: I could be gay, but I don't like men.
Confused Girl: I'm like almost a lesbian, but not quite, but I feel like it's close enough. My girls and I are close, really close.

-arts quad, heard by j-z


That's what I call 'home'

Boy on cell: Yeah, well, I don't define a 'city' as a place where you need to carry a switchblade to get to Dunkin Donuts.

-outside ctb, heard by chiashurb


Oh, to be young

Group of guys (looking at condoms): Hey,what's your cheapest 3-pack?
Jason (to employees): Girls, did you hear that?
Employee: Dude, they're ALL cheaper than a baby!

-jason's, heard by jerm


Not clear with the concept of circles

Guy 1: How do we get to where you are??
Guy 2: Go around the house!
Guy 1: ...which side??

-blair street, heard by chuckles


How do I get in the class these girls are studying for?

Showering Girl 1, shouting to be heard over the water: What was the most popular sport in [garbled; sounds like "British"] colonies?
Showering Girl 2, also shouting: What? Nudist colonies?
SG1: Yeah.
SG2: Um... Tennis?
SG1: Oh!
SG2: Was I right?
SG1: I don't know.

-girl's bathroom, donlon, heard by ferret

More soon!
Love
The Ear
overheardatcornell@gmail.com