Long time, No update

But here it is lovelies. Stay outta the shitty weather now, y'all hear?
-the ear


I knew I shouldn't have shaved off my eyebrows!

Girl: I like wearing this hat because it makes me look like a cancer patient.

- engineering quad, overheard by wb


There's something about Cameron...

Studious Asian Girl: Man, I couldn't sleep again last night. I was just lying there. I was thinking about Cameron Diaz's smile. She's always smiling.

-terrace cafe, heard by yager


She answers the question as she asks it

Girl #1: My friend just got a new boyfriend, she met him in the library.
Girl #2: What? I'm ALWAYS in the library, why don't I have a boyfriend?

-kennedy auditorium, also heard by yager


Goin' straight for the jugular

Physics kid #1:I'm going to stab you in the jugular!
Physics kid #2: I once got hit in the jugular with a ping pong ball...
Physics kid #1: My friend got hit by a car recently when he was running at night.
Physics kid #2: Wait, in the jugular?

-physics class in rockefeller, heard by overheardmost


Possibly the most annoying phone conversation ever

Guy Shouting into Phone: HELLO? HI, OH SORRY I'M IN THE, WHAT? HEY NO LISTEN! I'M IN THE LIBRARY, SO I CAN'T TALK LOUD. OK?...

-management library, also by overheardmost


Duh, you obviously want large balls

Comp Sci Kid on phone: No, do the balls first, then the walls... Yes the balls, do the balls. No not walls first... Balls! Do balls first! Then you can check to see if they get move and get larger. Yes you want large balls. So do the balls first!

-donlon study lounge, heard by probablysaiditall


Leave the eytomology to the English professors

Nat Res Prof: I'm not a vegetarian, that's a mohawk word for 'don't hunt so well'

-class, heard by no one in particular


I hope this person is never a doctor

Premed: I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than Einstein. My physics professor makes us derive formulas in 10 minutes that took Einstein years to do.

-class, heard by doug


This dance sounds intriguing

Guy: I'll do the work and you'll do the Chinese dance in sexy underwear.
Angry Chinese girl: No!

-pyramid mall, heard by ad'a


World Gym now only accepts metrosexuals

Girl: Yo, I like my curves.
Frat Guy: You know that gym curves? It's for lesbians! Who knew?

-arts quad, heard by jeff

That's all folks. Welcome to the last three weeks of your semester.
overheardatcornell@gmail.com