The hottest October
Fall break tomorrow. Ya'll best get psyched!
We got a lot from this guy
Spanish Professor: Ah, Boston. The Windy City
-uris, heard by slagathor
Tag, you're illiterate
Girl: His name is Jason. It’s laser, with a J.
-alpha delt, also slagathor
Putting the PC in RPCC
Boy: You know what I miss? Special Ed kids. There are no Special Ed kids at this school. You could pet them.
-rpcc, also slagathor
Why are they in the men's room?
Sorority Girl: So she walked into the men's room and was like "Tell me I'm not a slut" and I was like "You are a complete ho"
-kennedy hall, heard by hearing aid
Tragedy, lightly explained
Girl 1: She's a complete whore.
Girl 2: No she's not.
Girl 1: She cheated on her boyfriend, and now she's pregnant, and she's 19.
Girl 2: No! *Pauses* Well, that was ages ago!
-appel, heard by thechou
Always know your limits, ladies
Alochoholic Girl: I don't know why I even go out anymore -- I don't know where my friends are, I don't know what's going on, I don't know where I am. You can't go out at Cornell, you just get blackout!
-teagle, heard by two buck
Nothing can compare to the Omish though...daaaamn
Preppy guy: I've got kind of a fetish for those Mennonite girls. Did you see them? They were hot!
-cascadilla gorge, heard by mark
Hypocrite, but at least not a pregnant one
Professor passing out prelims: I have been instructed by the university to tell you all to turn your cell phones off...apparently you can text your friends to get answers...you guys are so smart, I never would have thought of that! You know in England they have special test rooms with devices that knock out cell phones...[HIS cell phone rings...and he answers]...Hello? Bad timing. Yeah. Just giving an exam. Ok..[hangs up] Sorry that was Catherine Zeta Jones and I had to tell her to wait for me...no I'm just kidding...it was my wife. She had good news, she's not late!
-uris, heard by nicole
I mean, does anyone else think chalking for the presidency of the United States of America is a little pathetic?
*Looking at Ron Paul 08 chalking*
Grad student 1: I mean, it's great that a drag queen is running for President, but why is he running as a Republican?
Grad student 2: I think you mean Ru Paul...
-ho plaza, heard by block
But...isn't late...hot?
Drunk Girl in Hoochie Skirt: But I don't want to leave yet.
Angry boyfriend: Too fucking bad. I called you a half hour ago, you came late, so I drank without you.
Stupid friend: Yeah man.
Drunk girl in hoochie skirt: So... I have to drink by myself?
Angry boyfriend: Fuck this. I need gum.
-collegetown, also block
booyakasha. Submit, me hearties
overheardatcornell[at]gmail[dot]com (Goddamn spammers!)