Saturdays are pretty dope
As the 20th century prophets Loverboy once sang, "Everybody's working for the weekend". In this vein, Im putting you to work. Stupid people are more up front about it when drunk. Exploit this to the advantage of all of us!
Atleast she spelled it right
Girl 1: How do you spell luau?
Girl 2: What's that?
Girl 1: You know, like when Mexicans wear grass skirts and eat pigs and pineapples.
Girl 2: Oh. I think it's L-U-A-U.
-tower cafe, heard by xcutterboix
Only in Dino's
Sorostitute 1: I need a date for winetour...I was gonna take Jim, but after last night...I mean, just because I had a threesome with them doesn't mean they can stop talking to me. Like it's not my fault they're awkward.
Sorostitute 2: Were they drunk?
Sorostiutue 1: No they were both sober...
Sorostitute 2: Maybe that's why...what about cokehead boy...can you take him on winetour instead?
-dino's, heard by seriously?
As if I didn't experience enough guilt, being Jewish
Guy 1: So he's like, "Not keepin' kosher?" And I'm like, "Come on, I stuck with it for two days."
Guy 2: I'm not keeping kosher either.
Guy 1: It's like, yeah, we got out of Egypt, but it's not that big a deal.
-becker, heard by ad'a
Gene Simmons claims to do this
Bro 1: He's got this drawer-full of pictures, dude. All different girls.
Bro 2: Have you seen it?
Bro 1: Yeaaah, dude. Sketch.
-statler, also ad'a
I have had sadly similar conversations
Smoking guy #1: Cancer is, like, the new orange.
Smoking guy #2: Yeah, I don't want to die now, but I don't want to be like 80.
Smoking guy #1: Yeah, exactly.
-outside bethe house, heard by kimothy
Friends don't let friends serial murder
Guy 1: I hope there's no one in that lounge.
Guy 2: Me too.
Guy 3: If there's anyone there, I'll kill them all. I'll slit their throats.
-west campus, heard by kimothy
Two Bingo related overheards? Yes!
Bingo number caller: D65
Bingo players: There's no D in BINGO
Bingo number caller: It looks like a D, really!
Didn't know the mic was on?
Bingo number caller #2: I pick up lots of chicks, G56. But when I don't, I masterbate, B8.
-bingo heaven, heard by bingo player
Keep up the good work.