Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to Good luck, and happy hearing

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Wasted on a Friday night...

And I hope you are too. Here are a coupla new ones, lovelies.

I can't believe I've never tried this

Guy: I figure, being Jewish, I can walk up to any professor and make up a random Hebrew word and claim it's that holiday. No one messes with our holidays.
Girl: Well, what if your professor is Jewish?
Guy: You just have to know these things. Just look at his nose, man. I have the best jew-dar ever.

-statler elevator, heard by meg

I'd give her a tshirt for this

Preppy girl: I want a tee shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina, I totally deserve one!

-rpcc vagina carnival, heard by what would you do for a tee shirt?

Very rational plan

Sorority girl #1: I got invited on a wine tour Saturday morning. So I don't know if I want to go out tonight, because I have to drink really early tomorrow.
Sorority girl #2: You're not coming tonight?
Sorority girl #1: Well, the dance floor there is always really hot. So, if I don't have to dance, I don't have to drink...maybe I'll come.

-the bus, heard by ad'a

I love you little children, and I dont just say that cuz im drunk.


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