Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to Good luck, and happy hearing

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sundays Suck

Howdy all. Submissions have been down of late. I want to go back to the golden days of yore, when we were getting 4 or 5 submissions daily, not 1 or 2. So get your hearin' caps on.

Heidi? She hardly counts.

Loud girl on cell phone: And then he asked me what German people look like, and I told him, 'Well, I've never seen a German woman wear make-up.'... except for that one... yeah... no, not Gisele, the one who says 'Auf Wiedersehn.'

-law school, heard by hey, i'm german!

They should really work on a pimple remover function on digital cameras

Girl on Cell: Oh yeah, the pictures look great. I was up all night photoshopping pimples.

-tcat, heard by twombly

Only if you share, man.

Jockster: No, dude, you totally have to use a condom with a plastic vagina

-cook house, heard by hung

Note that it is under 30 degrees

Girl 1: How cold do you think it is?
Girl 2: Well it has to be less than 60, because when it's 60 degrees you CAN'T see your breath.

-uris, heard by paris

Too soon?

Girl 1: I don't know what his problem is. Columbus day? Like, whatever, it's a day off. I would celebrate Saddam Hussein day if I got a day off.

-wsh reading room [in response to columbus day protestor], heard by sitt

I've been meaning to meet you, I've got all this melted butter!

Guy on cell: Oh, so YOU'RE the one who likes horseshoe crabs!

-balch arch, heard by patricia

Weather is simple when you're a dunce

Freshman: Is New York City warmer than Ithaca?
Older Friend: Cities are warmer because pavement absorbs heat. Like the sun.

-tcat, heard by anonymous


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