Sundays Suck

Howdy all. Submissions have been down of late. I want to go back to the golden days of yore, when we were getting 4 or 5 submissions daily, not 1 or 2. So get your hearin' caps on.
overheardatcornell@gmail.com

Heidi? She hardly counts.

Loud girl on cell phone: And then he asked me what German people look like, and I told him, 'Well, I've never seen a German woman wear make-up.'... except for that one... yeah... no, not Gisele, the one who says 'Auf Wiedersehn.'

-law school, heard by hey, i'm german!


They should really work on a pimple remover function on digital cameras

Girl on Cell: Oh yeah, the pictures look great. I was up all night photoshopping pimples.

-tcat, heard by twombly


Only if you share, man.

Jockster: No, dude, you totally have to use a condom with a plastic vagina

-cook house, heard by hung


Note that it is under 30 degrees

Girl 1: How cold do you think it is?
Girl 2: Well it has to be less than 60, because when it's 60 degrees you CAN'T see your breath.

-uris, heard by paris


Too soon?

Girl 1: I don't know what his problem is. Columbus day? Like, whatever, it's a day off. I would celebrate Saddam Hussein day if I got a day off.

-wsh reading room [in response to columbus day protestor], heard by sitt


I've been meaning to meet you, I've got all this melted butter!

Guy on cell: Oh, so YOU'RE the one who likes horseshoe crabs!

-balch arch, heard by patricia


Weather is simple when you're a dunce

Freshman: Is New York City warmer than Ithaca?
Older Friend: Cities are warmer because pavement absorbs heat. Like the sun.

-tcat, heard by anonymous