Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to overheardatcornell@gmail.com. Good luck, and happy hearing

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Been too long

So not only did the Sun not publish the letter (sent Tuesday) but 'Overheard: Eavesdroppers Welcome' published again with nary nod nor mention to this little blog. In any case, now we're sending an email to Monika herself, in the hopes that something rectifies this problem. If, however, we see three weeks without any mention, change or improvement?
I don't know. I don't even know.

Anyway, it's been a long while and we've got a ton of good uns. Check it out:


And they say our generation's not involved

Girl A: That's so leftist.
Girl B: Wait, which is left and which is right? Is democrat left or right?
A: Democrat is left...no...uh...no, wait, right. Yeah, they're right.
B: Yeah.
A: I always remember 'Democrats are right'. Republicans are wrong.
B: Haha, that's so bad.
A: Oh my god they are so dumb.
B: Hey--my mom is a republican.
A: Ha. It's OK, I'm sure she's centrist.

-class, heard by anonymous


Seinfeld is never a good sign

Girl #1: So did you hook up with that guy last night?
Girl #2: Yeah, but for some reason it reminded me of that Seinfeld episode about the woman who couldn't move her arms when she walked.

-engineering quad, heard by keds


I think he wins hands down

Drunk Guy 1: YEAH, Eli Manning is my dawgg.
Drunk Guy 2: Yeahh dude Eli Manning is the shit, he's gonna be better than his brother.
Drunk Guy 3: OH YEAH? WELL ELI WHITNEY IS MY HOMEBOY, HE INVENTED THE COTTON GIN, WHAT NOW?

-eddy st., heard by areyoufuckingkiddingme


Or maybe I'm just really drunk

Dudebro: So yeah, I have these dreams where I'm beating people up...I always wake up tired.

-libe slope, heard by twombly


I mean, yeah, but Jesus Christ.

Girl1: I have my final in Hollister. Where is that?
Girl2: Hollister? Isn't that a store?

-dorms, heard by foxy lady


Some context was provided, but ignoring it makes this EVEN FUNNIER

Student gluing letters: Oh no! The "E" is eating my colon!

-bulletin board, heard by foxy lady


College is confusing

Indian freshman girl: Hey, do you ever get invited to events for non-white people? Because I do all the time. I don't know what to do about it.

-ag quad, heard by the ear


Damn my erstwhile childhood!

Kid on cell: I would've been fluent in like 5 more languages if I had stuck with Muzzy!

-ho plaza, heard by benji


Reading this one makes you dumber

Girl 1: I'm going to New York City next spring.
Girl 2: Oh, for like, study abroad?

-vet quad, heard by liza


Ok, we received this one about two weeks ago and agreed it was totally fake, because everyone in it was too self-aware. But, after talking with the provider of the quote, we've been convinced of it's truth. Enjoy:
Crash

Freshman - Hey! Do you have a bandaid?
Sorority gal 1- What? Why would I have a bandaid
Freshman - Because you have a purse and my friend is bleeding
Sorority gal 2- Listen, we're [sorority name removed due to polite request], we have condoms in our purses, not bandaids
Freshman - Well my friend is losing blood
Sorority gal 1- Oh my god! Somebody call the hospital
Sorority gal 2- Quick! Does anybody have a sock? Seriously, we need to
stop the bleeding!
Sorority gal 1- Does anyone have a sock? Hey! Can we have your sock!
Gentleman- No
Sorority gal 1- Listen! Give us your sock asshole! This freshman is
losing blood!
Gentleman- No, it's my sock

-eddy st., heard by taranto


So kind

Enthusiastic Girl: No no, since "Butt-Ugly" is kinda mean, to be nice, you just say "Butt"

-ho plaza, heard by djbj


Wow.

Jappy girl: Hey, um..what IS this?

-SKORTON INAUGURATION, heard by areyoufuckingkiddingme?


Describing breakfast at Trillium

Frat head- Dude, this is so much better! They have, like, eggs and shit!

-trillium, heard by anonymous


Phew! Keep sending in your overheards, and if you have any advise/inside info on the sun thing, don't hesitate to contact.
overheardatcornell@gmail.com

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Girl 1: Shit.
Girl 2: Precisely.
Girl 1: Shit.
Girl 2: Punch!

-outside Balch

11:16 PM

 
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