Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to Good luck, and happy hearing

Sunday, October 15, 2006

LONG overdue update part 2

Oops, I lied. We're gonna break things down into 3 parts for ya.

Aw, please dude? It'll be quick, I swear.

Dude on cell: No, I really don't want to put your balls in my mouth, thank you very much.

-tower rd, heard by laura

FUCK! These are Cornellians ladies and gentlemen! Where's the outrage?

Gal: Oklahoma and Ohio, I always get those two mixed up.
Guy: Yeah.
Gal: Wait which one is in the middle of the country?
Guy: Ah, they both are, kind of.
Gal: Oh, well which one is a state?
Guy: Both
Gal: Yeah that's why I get them mixed up!

-ho plaza, heard by taranto

Way out in the water, see it swimmin'

Dame: Oh well what kind of music do you guys play?
Gent: Well, we cover the Pixies, like "Where is my Mind"
Dame: Ohhhh! I love that song! "Where's my mind, where's my mind, wheres
my mind"
Gent: Yeah, but that's not really how it goes.
Dame: Right, but I still love that song.

-stewart ave, also taranto


Bro: Hey come on, sit down.
Gal: Yeah sit down.
Drunk mess of which has just stumbled in: NO! (slams purse on table) I'M
Bro: Oh god, please sit down.

-ctb, also taranto


Table Dancer Wannabe: Hey why are you acting like such a slut?
Drunk Table Dancer: I fucked a Red Sox’s player and was Miss Massachusetts you fat ugly bitch!

-johnny o's, heard by entertained johnny o's patrons

A woman of high moral fiber

Girl on cell: Well, i don't care if they kill fucking humans, just don't fucking kill the worms!

-arts quad, heard by hearstoomuch

Do not give this girl a degree

Crowd of fans: Here we go Cornell! ::clap, clap, clapclapclap::
Dumb girl: Here we go what? OHHH, Cornell! I could've sworn they were saying Tarheels!

-schoellkopf stadium, heard by dues

Ah yes, many a polar wallaby I've hunted there

Dumb Girl: What are you wearing? It's only, like, fifty degrees out! You're dressed like you're in, like, the Alaska Outback!

-schoellkopf stadium, also dues


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loud girl on cell phone: And then he asked me what German people look like, and I told him, 'Well, I've never seen a German woman wear make-up.'... except for that one... yeah... no, not Gisele, the one who says 'Auf Wiedersehn.'

-outside the law school
overheard by hey, i'm german!

3:30 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vice-president: ...we're all like kind of educated or whatever?

--well-known student organization's meeting,
overheard by babygirl

6:36 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Communication Resources Nice article about the Motorola V360 camera phone, as well as other good resources.

3:26 PM

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