LONG overdue update part 2

Oops, I lied. We're gonna break things down into 3 parts for ya.
Submit!
overheardatcornell@gmail.com

Aw, please dude? It'll be quick, I swear.

Dude on cell: No, I really don't want to put your balls in my mouth, thank you very much.

-tower rd, heard by laura


FUCK! These are Cornellians ladies and gentlemen! Where's the outrage?

Gal: Oklahoma and Ohio, I always get those two mixed up.
Guy: Yeah.
Gal: Wait which one is in the middle of the country?
Guy: Ah, they both are, kind of.
Gal: Oh, well which one is a state?
Guy: Both
Gal: Yeah that's why I get them mixed up!

-ho plaza, heard by taranto



Way out in the water, see it swimmin'

Dame: Oh well what kind of music do you guys play?
Gent: Well, we cover the Pixies, like "Where is my Mind"
Dame: Ohhhh! I love that song! "Where's my mind, where's my mind, wheres
my mind"
Gent: Yeah, but that's not really how it goes.
Dame: Right, but I still love that song.

-stewart ave, also taranto

BRING IT BACK GIRL!

Bro: Hey come on, sit down.
Gal: Yeah sit down.
Drunk mess of which has just stumbled in: NO! (slams purse on table) I'M
BRINGING SEXY BACK!
Bro: Oh god, please sit down.

-ctb, also taranto


Me-ow

Table Dancer Wannabe: Hey why are you acting like such a slut?
Drunk Table Dancer: I fucked a Red Sox’s player and was Miss Massachusetts you fat ugly bitch!

-johnny o's, heard by entertained johnny o's patrons


A woman of high moral fiber

Girl on cell: Well, i don't care if they kill fucking humans, just don't fucking kill the worms!

-arts quad, heard by hearstoomuch


Do not give this girl a degree

Crowd of fans: Here we go Cornell! ::clap, clap, clapclapclap::
Dumb girl: Here we go what? OHHH, Cornell! I could've sworn they were saying Tarheels!

-schoellkopf stadium, heard by dues


Ah yes, many a polar wallaby I've hunted there

Dumb Girl: What are you wearing? It's only, like, fifty degrees out! You're dressed like you're in, like, the Alaska Outback!

-schoellkopf stadium, also dues