Computer back, Sun resolved, everyone jubilantly happy

If I have learned one thing from not having a computer for a week, it is that I am sickeningly dependent on the thing. But now overheard is back, and with a vengeance. I promise this long a hiatus will not occur again (precluding all catastrophic computer meltdowns). Oh, and the problem with the sun is no longer a problem but a joyous solution. What's going to happen is that we're going to send Monika the best overheards from the week, and she's going to use a mix of ours and hers, and then reference this little blog at the end of the article. Dope solution, n'est-ce pas? Ok, lets get into em. There are a ton.

No no! Don't put that there!!! Just think WWJD!

Hip christian asian girl: He didn't DO it though did he?
Hip christian asian boy: Yeah, he did. he's so stupid.
Hip christian asian girl: I know. I mean, hasn't he taken sex ed before? Doesn't he KNOW where babies come from?

-outside uris, heard by thedoppleganger


True friendship means jumping on a vietcong grenade

Some guy: I talk about you behind your back because I'm your friend and I certainly hope that you do the same for me.

bebe lake bridge, heard by icertainlydothatformyfriends


*sigh*. If only.

Guy: So at this Texas Game Ranch, they release Emos and you shoot at them... I mean Emus.

-anthro class, heard by pace


A True Man

Real Drunk Guy with pink hat: You guys should totally use chop sticks,
it's so pussy not to.
Hippie: (light-heartedly) We're trying to save some trees
Pink Hat: Do you have any idea how many geese I killed today? 12.

-miyake, heard by hearing aid


Um...

Orgo Prof: We have partial superimposability of molecules, it's like being partially pregnant!

-baker 200, heard by opakapaka


Ok, technically not a Cornell student, but still hilarious

Hobo (gesturing to trash can): I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!

-linden ave., heard by dek


DU! DU! DU!

Drunk guy: I could totally take on that tree, just level it.
Drunk girl: I think the tree would win.
Drunk guy: No, really, I think I could take it down.

-outside du, heard by kimothy


Hey! I walk on that quad!

Freshman guy 1: Hey dude... how many guys do you think have whipped out their balls in the middle of the quad?
Freshman guy 2: Uhh I don't know
Freshman guy 1: Cuz I just did!!!

-arts quad, heard by ann


Somewhere, a fairy dropped dead

Girl #1: ...but I don't want to look fake.
Girl #2: Well looking a little fake is normal because I mean it's normal to get plastic surgery.

-cascadeli terrace, heard by godspeakstomeontheradio


Slut

Girl: I mean, I agreed to play beer pong with him, but we're not like, dating!

-vet quad, heard by liza


Thank God for Vomiting

Girl 1 arrives at table with yogurt.
Thin Girl 2, though a mouthful of brownie: Yogurt is so fattening.

-trillium, heard by sff


I blame society

Girl: Why are we so bad at conversation?
Guy: We have to, like... like... like, I don't know.

-libe cafe, heard by sff

Thanks for putting up with the overheard-free week, and keep submitting!
Love,
the ear
overheardatcornell@gmail.com