Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to Good luck, and happy hearing

Monday, October 30, 2006

Halloween Mania Part 1

Two parts, comin' atcha!
-the ear

Relish, you are cool by me

Guy dressed as a plant: Fuck you, Ketchup! You too, Mustard.

-eddy st., heard by anonymous

Harsh, but fair

Kid 1: I'm so glad I have a code monkey as a roommate so I don't have to live with someone who...
Code Monkey Roommate: (interrupts) Is happy?
Kid 1: Exactly.

-duffield, heard by doug

On the suspension bridge, two boys pass a third jumping up and down...

Jumping drunk boy: Excuse me, I'm hopping like a kangaroo! [continues jumping]

-suspension bridge, heard by fox

This poor man is really bad at being a frat boy


-college ave., heard by rv

Guy 2 here is very much the voice of reason

Guy 1: Jewish long island girls are the way to go.
Guy 2: No it's all about cultural diversity.
Guy 3: Cultural diversity? What about Alpha Phi?
Guy 2: If you want to get laid go back to that party.

-noyes, heard by didtheyreallyjustsaythat


Girl: I’m confused, so what is goodwill?
Guy: I dunno
Girl: Isn’t it that place where you get all your clothes?

-economics class, heard by jleow

Hail to thee, our alma matter

Boy: What do brain cells do for me? Nothing really, they waste my time.

-arts quad, heard by boyim