Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to overheardatcornell@gmail.com. Good luck, and happy hearing

Sunday, May 14, 2006

What a Weekend

Hello all, we have a pretty hefty weekend update for you, but we need to talk. We know you enjoy reading this blog and all, and that's great, really, but we'd really like to have a Top-Ten edition and a T-shirt. And who wouldn't, right? Only problem is, you guys haven't been sending us your favorite Overheards, and quite frankly, it hurts. One of our editors is already teetering on the brink of madness, sobbing that no one likes him and threatening to jab a q-tip so far down his ear all he can hear is James Cotton and Cotton-Eyed Joe. So please, don't subject him to such sixth-grade square dancing depths, and just submit your top ten. See the entry T-Shirt Contest! for more details. However, what you guys heard this weekend was quite impressive:


No, but there was that funny dog on the cover of Doggystyle

Drunk architecture girl on party bus: "Who would you kick out of bed: Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles or...wait, Snoop Dog's not a cartoon character."

-The Beaux Arts Ball, overheard by ad'a


Definitely a serial killer

Girl in Stall 1: I heard someone come in.
Girl in Stall 2: Really?
Girl in Stall 3: Yeah, I heard the door open.
Girl who came in the bathroom: RAAAAAWR [leaves]

-Goldwin Smith bathroom, 2:15 am, heard by anonymous


Hot Girl on Girl Action!

Girl: "Can I ... feel your thing?" [advances upon other girl]

-Goldwin Smith, 3 am, heard by anonymous


No, silly, she was drunk before the shrubbery came into the picture

Incredulous girl: "you got drunk in a bush!!!!!!??"

-Quarry St., heard by lj


I have to admit, I'm kinda impressed

Guy on porch: "My cock has touched everything in this house!"

-East Seneca, heard by K


I'd drive, but daddy took away the beamer after the third DUI

Sorostitute #1: Does this bus like go to RPU just on weekdays?
Sorostitute #2 (seated next to #1): Umm...I don't really know.
#1: 'Cuz like, I think it does, but then someone told me it goes on weekends too.
#2: Really? I thought it was just weekdays.
#1: Yeah, that's like weird...conflicting evidence or whatever you call it.
#2: I hope it goes there on weekends, 'cuz it would like suck to walk there.
#1: Yeah, no kidding, that would like totally suck. I hope it's going there.
#2: It would be stupid though if it went just on weekends though, right?
#1: Yeah...it's not like the buses are just for school.
#2: But there is no school in RPU anyway...well like, nothing but writing seminars.
#1: Yeah, but still, it would be so much better if it goes everyday.
Exasperated stranger: This bus stops at RPU on weekdays and weekends.
-- 25 second pause --
Sorostitute #3: Do you guys know if this bus stops at RPU on weekends?

-TCat Bus, heard by Scott


Oh gosh

Guy: So, I've determined that I definitely have an addiction to amphetamines
Girl: Oh?
Guy: Ha, yeah I woke up this morning and was sweating and shivering....but then I just took an Adderall and I was fine!

-Baker 200, heard by Methyl Grignard


Thankfully, it never strikes twice

Worker 1: When I load that thing [dish machine] I never stop.
Worker 2: Yeah man, Never stop.
Worker 1: I'm like lightning.
Worker 2: Lightning stops, dude. It's just really fast.
Worker 1: Well you fuckin' wise ass, I guess I'm like lightning that never stops. Go get me a doughnut.

-RPU Dishroom, heard by bs


Dont pull any punches

Dude on cell: You screw everything up you are worst social planner ever, and your hallmate smells very weird!! [pause] Pregame starts at 5

-North, heard by lj


They're like snowflakes, really

Girl on cellphone: Yeah.. did you know that there are different kinds of
vaginas?

-HILC parking lot, heard by marz


The key to this one is that on screen someone is performing CPR

Heavily accented loudmouth: She gives the heimlich movement!

-Pyramid Mall Movies, heard by Cinema xenophobe


Phew! Alright everyone, keep up the good work.
Overheardatcornell@gmail.com
And please submit your top ten!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

We all need someone to bleed on

Sorostitute on cell: So Jon's nose just started bleeding. While we were hooking up. He was like, so embarrased. He like ran into the bathroom and wouldn't look at me. He hasn't called yet. I don't understand what his problem is...It's just a bloody nose.

-Arts Quad, heard by C.M.K.

1:33 AM

 
Anonymous aj said...

Hah, the bus one is quite funny, but mostly because I was the exasperated stranger. Unfortunately, I was misquoted, the bus only stops at RPU on the weekends - however, it was Saturday. The twenty minute discussion was disgustingly unecessary.

9:27 PM

 
Anonymous Sildenafil Citrate said...

Hi I have read some of your posts and so far I liked them and I hope you write more, don't pay attention to what some people say about you or your editor

9:11 AM

 
Anonymous Viagra Online said...

hahaha excellent post you made for the week, seriously I love the parts of the serial killer and the hot girl, so funny.
I guess I never had a weekend like yours.
Thanks for sharing, keep writing.

8:59 AM

 

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