All New Tuesday

Eating is for fatties

Sorority girl 1: So, when she eats, she always gets one bowl of broccoli, and one bowl of something else she doesn't like, and one bowl of stuff she wants to eat. And she can't eat the good stuff until she's eaten the two other bowls and drank a glass of water.
Sorority girl 2: Oh my gosh, that's so sad!

-RPU Elevator, submitted by narcotics anonymous


Meathead berates raw meat

Oblivious Girl: I don't understand why they cook the meat dishes so fast, but the veggies dishes take so long.
Sarcastic Guy: I guess they want to make sure they cook the grilled cheese all the way through.
Oblivious Girl: Oh, that makes sense.

-Ivy Room, submitted by jw


Cornell University, ladies and gentlemen

Girl: You go to school? I never do that! Yuck!

-Uris library, submitted by wj


Hypocrites are HOT

Girl 1: He's just not cute at all!
Girl 2: I know, I told him he's not cute to his face.
Girl 1: No, he has a cute face.

-Ivy Room, submitted by the ear

Alrighty all, good work today. Keep it up.
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