One week old and still kickin'

Buzzed Aldrin

Drunk Guy: Hey ladies, where are you goin?
Girl: Uhh, the moon
Drunk Guy: Oh yeah? If it's made of cheese i'll come with you. YOUR VAGINA'S MADE OUT OF CHEESE! [falls down hill]

-The Slope, heard by Wendy


Fuck School, Man.

Meathead: So hey, uh, did you guys have a test?
Friend: No, just a quiz.
Meathead: Just a fuckin quiz? Fuckin, what the fuck, man?
Friend: It was easy.
Meathead: Fuckin hell! Fuck that shit.
Friend: Yeah man, I gotta go to class.
Meathead: You fuckin tool bag, fucker ... Alright, see you later man!

-Balch Arch, heard by lillers


Food Sciences Majors

Sorority girl #1: But beer is really bad for you.
Sorority girl #2: I know! It's like drinking bread!
Sorority Girl #1: But like a WHOLE LOT of bread! Like a loaf of bread.

-Ho Plaza, heard by Katherine


I have a friend with a permanently broken toe, that shit sucks

Girl: How do you know if you break your little toe? You can wiggle all the other ones to check, but not your pinky toe...I think I broke mine last night. I stubbed it super bad. I mean totally mashed it.

-Kimball Hall, heard by bs

Good first week kids, keep 'em comin'
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