Sick of the overwhelming stupid smacking you in the ear every day at Cornell University? Send us the hilarious, stupid or just out there things you hear, when and where you heard them, and by who (no names, just generic description) and we'll publish them. Either post it as a comment or send it to Good luck, and happy hearing

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

(Slightly belated) Monday

Grade Grubbing.

Guy 1: "I'd swallow for an A"
Guy 2: "What?"
Guy 1: "You know, like to help the professor out. if i didn't want to study and he was cool with that."
Guy 2: "Don't you think your girlfriend would mind?"
Guy 1: "Probably not"

-Apartment building lobby, heard by wj

Speaking from experience

Awkward Boy: That must flossing your ass

-outside Donlon, heard by narcotics anonymous

Foreign languages are easy

Girl on cell: No, you gotta speak Spanish, we all speak Spanish, you gotta speak Spanish like us. (brief pause) Exactly, good boys speak Spanish

-near Dickson computer lab, heard by rj

Kids, use protection.

Fat Girl: But I didn't mean to get pregnant!
Guy: Yeah right

-C-town parking garage, heard by mina

Probably not

Girl: He's not in a frat!?!? Does he, like, know anyone??

-outside Dickson, heard by anonybus

Good work kindred spirits, we're starting to get a lot of submissions daily!
Keep 'em comin'


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I could have picked any guy in the bar and I went straight to him. That's good 'guy-dar.'"

Uris Library, 12:28 am

12:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Girl in Stall 1: I heard someone come in.
Girl in Stall 2: Really?
Girl in Stall 3: Yeah, I heard the door open.
Girl who came in the bathroom: RAWR

Girl who rawred exits. Footsteps are heard down the hall.

Goldwin Smith 1st floor bathroom, 5/13, 2:15 a.m.

2:23 AM


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