(Slightly belated) Monday

Grade Grubbing.

Guy 1: "I'd swallow for an A"
Guy 2: "What?"
Guy 1: "You know, like to help the professor out. if i didn't want to study and he was cool with that."
Guy 2: "Don't you think your girlfriend would mind?"
Guy 1: "Probably not"

-Apartment building lobby, heard by wj


Speaking from experience

Awkward Boy: That must hurt...like flossing your ass

-outside Donlon, heard by narcotics anonymous


Foreign languages are easy

Girl on cell: No, you gotta speak Spanish, we all speak Spanish, you gotta speak Spanish like us. (brief pause) Exactly, good boys speak Spanish

-near Dickson computer lab, heard by rj


Kids, use protection.

Fat Girl: But I didn't mean to get pregnant!
Guy: Yeah right

-C-town parking garage, heard by mina


Probably not

Girl: He's not in a frat!?!? Does he, like, know anyone??

-outside Dickson, heard by anonybus


Good work kindred spirits, we're starting to get a lot of submissions daily!
Keep 'em comin'
overheardatcornell@gmail.com