Coupla days

Howdy all, didn't get too many submissions, so we were waiting for them to build into a slimy pile in our inbox. Here goes:


Bubble tea makes you smartur!

Freshman girl 1 (sipping on Bubble Tea): What would you do if you got one of these but you ONLY had a small straw...
Freshman girl 2 (long pause): OMG I don't know

-north, heard by lillers


Are Mayor McCheese and the Hamburgler Bigmacivores?

Guy drinking tea: Seriously dude, come finals week I'll be living on this [tea] and tobacco. I'll be like, a herbivore or something

-libe cafe, heard by elf


Why they always gotta change a thing?

Freshman girl: I hate the new facebook!!!! It makes stalking less fun because they do it all for you!!!!

-goldwin smith, heard by lj


That guy always was sassy

Guy 1 (to guy 2): The problem is you're a little bitch
Card swiper: That explains a lot

-rpcc, heard by dj osep


Clearly a Gov. Major

Guy 1: FBI?
Guy 2: Yeah, man. Federal Bureau of Intoxication.
Guy 1: Is that... is that a real bureau?

-okenshields, heard by toby


Gotta love TAs

Math TA discussing the volume of the Earth- when you start in the center it's going to be very dense and as you go out towards the crust you're going to be adding less mass... because there are holes... there might be caves and and stuff

-class, heard by anonymous

Good work everyone, see you tomorrow (and look for our letter to the editor).
-the ear